I hate change.

I’m the kind of girl who has never ordered anything at Subway besides the turkey breast on whole wheat with cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, and mayo.

The kind of girl who gets sad when her friends move from one house to another in the same city, just because “I’ll miss their old place”.

The kind of girl who rarely rearranges her bedroom/household furniture, because what if it just doesn’t look as good in a different configuration?

The kind of girl who wants to have every second of her future planned out.

I’m not talking about day-to-day events. I’m fairly spontaneous as far as events go, because I’m from a family where plans inevitably change several times right up to the minute they’re happening. I’m used to not having the events of the day be set in stone routines.

I mean major life events. I wish I knew how they would all unfold, and I try my hardest to keep ‘em set out. We’ll live here for two years and have these jobs and this house, this car, this grocery store, these friends.

Then we’ll move here for three years, and I’ll be going to school and Steve will be finishing his trade certification.

Then we’ll move here and buy a house and settle down and nothing will change ever again and we’ll live happily ever after.

Perfect.

I’m getting a little worried that life doesn’t work that way.

I’m getting a little worried that God doesn’t work that way.

Here’s how I know that:
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’” –James 4:13-15

God is showing us right now that all our plans can come to dust in one day. He is showing us that, no matter how strong our intentions, desires, or willpower are, he can change things in a second.

I have to shut up and listen to His plan instead of making my own, I can see that. I’m scared to do it, I don’t know why. I know he says we’ll have trouble, but he says he can also take care of us.

And give us life abundantly.

Maybe not a planned out routine. But a real, true life. That’s better, right?

It’s just very scary, for a person like me.

But I’ve got to learn how to let God decide. I mean, he’ll decide anyway. I’ve got to learn to listen and be willing to go when he says go, and trust that, no matter what . . .

. . . if you’re doing what God wants, you’re doing the right thing.