1. The fact that my office smells like pasta salad, because I had pasta salad for lunch yesterday. Yuck.

2. The fact that the radio has boring commercials on instead of fabulous songs.

3. The fact that I have no plants in my office except a Christmas cactus, and it won’t bloom.

4. The fact that my desk currently consists of 11 assorted piles of files/papers, and I can’t remember which pile represents which project anymore, and I really need to do some organizing, big time.

5. The fact that some people bum us all out by taking things way too seriously. See the Rachael Ray scarf incident. Any chance the scarf was an innocent fashion accessory? Like, maybe her outfit was too plain and scarves are hipper than the turquoise chunky-bead Martha Stewart necklaces these days? Plausible? Yeah. I thought so.

6. The fact that my toenails aren’t painted, and I’m wearing sandals.

7. The fact that my car is acting up. Last night when I left work at 9 p.m. it refused to start and I had to wait till 10:30 for the AMA guy to come boost it, and then as soon as I started driving away the battery light came right back on, meaning SOMETHING IS WRONG. Do I really look like I have the cash for a new car? And to the know-it-all financial voices in my head: stop talking to me about how “financially smart” people should have savings for car replacements and so on! Because, occasionally, I prefer to buy groceries than put money into car savings. We call that “street smart”. (Because you end up walking everywhere you need to go. On the street).

8. The fact that, even if my car DID work properly for the next 30 years, gas prices are so high that I am fending off mini panic-attacks everytime I see a gas station sign with the cost of gas. It’s torment!

9. The fact that polar bears don’t have icebergs to stand on, anymore.

10. The fact that I am experiencing EXTREME test anxiety and have an EXTREME test coming up, which I have been studying for forever but feel just as unprepared as if I started last night.

11. When you exaggerate something, and you are obviously exaggerating, like “Yeah, I know, it is like plus ONE HUNDRED DEGREES Celcius outside today!” and then some stiff-lipped individual feels compelled to say “If it really were that hot, you would be dead right now.”